Erasing Parental Mistake Ritual

Erasing Parental Mistake Ritual is a very easy ritual. It is for all levels of witches. And can be done anywhere at anytime at any moon phase. The most important part of this ritual is to recognize when it is needed and for the ritual to be done as immediately as possible. It could also be called a preventative soul retrieval.

This is the history of its creation: I try very hard to be a good parent. I try very hard. I want my children to be raised in love and kindness. To become confident, independent, loving adults. And I wish I could tell you that I am always a good parent. But I have had moments that have been regrettable.And a few that have even been worse. There was a day, it was a nice day. We were at the library and started to run out of time. Needed to get in the car, needed to hurry up before traffic started, needed to stop off at the store or start dinner or some other thing. And the line at the library was long. It had not been moments ago but now it was long and we were at the end. When we got to the front, my daughter asked me something. I gave her an answer. And then she wanted something else. I can’t even remember what it was, it could have been that she could go back and get a different book, or if she could use the machine, or see my library card. But it was something normal that a six year old would ask. Something not deserving of the reply she got. Somehow instead of her mother answering her, it was more like a growl of a very angry, starving she bear. I am glad that I don’t really remember what I said. But it was nasty and mean spirited and I hated myself for it even as it was leaving my lips.  And my daughter was soulfully heartbroken. Her eyes grew big and her body a bit limp. And I cursed myself. I hated myself. And yet somewhere I was still mad and huffing and puffing and give her mean, nasty eyes. Until we got outside. On the way out to the car I thought how could I have said that? Am I even human? I want a Do-Over! So, we I asked my six year old. First, I told my little girl that I was very sorry. She did not have the mother that she should of in the library. And we need to re-enact the whole event. If that was OK with her. We could have gone back into the library. But instead we remained in the car. She said what she had said before and then I said what a good mother should have said at the time. My daughter was not sad any more from the “bad mother” event. She even smiled and it do-over soothed the inside of both of us. So, sadness lingered and the event was never brought up again because to her it had never happened. So, there was nothing for her to cling onto. It was if it had been erased.

Erasing Parental Mistake Ritual:

1. Recognize the bad parenting event

2. Admit that their “best” parent was not present

3. Ask  for A Do-Over. To your child,  “You know, I should have said/acted differently.  Can we have a do-over?”

4. Re-enact. Have the child re-enact what they did and said

5. Create an alternative ending.  Then you get to re-create your part. Tell them or act out what you should have done if their “best” parent had been there.

It is a preventative soul retrieval because you are mending the soul, virtually going back in time and sewing everything back together as it rips. Much better then carrying the guilt with you. Much better than the child carrying their sadness with them.  This ritual is not limited to mistakes that you have made or mistakes that are freshly made. You can re-enact in this way giving your child empowerment and healing on things others have done to him or her. Or from pains done long ago that resurface. 
This is just one more tool for your tool chest. The Erasing Parental Mistakes Ritual.

Question Asked. Can this ritual be done with adult children?

The answer is yes. It can be re-enacted even when the incident happened long ago. There are a number of different scenarios that this ritual can help workout. Here are some additional thoughts:

1. If your parent is willing to do the enactment with you great! Just do the above steps.

2. If your parent is unwilling or if it would be too difficult to ask then:

A. Go to your Sacred Space. (cast and call quarters if that is your tradition)

B. Recall the event that harmed you (Know that you are in your sacred space. You are safe.)

C. In this recall have your parent be there “best” parent. Have them say and do what they should have. If this parent was in general a bad or neglectful parent then in your re-enactment ritual have a responsible adult step in and protect you. A grandparent, the other parent. If none comes to mind then have your adult self step in. Have your adult self not allow this injury to take place. If the act was violent and not just through words have your adult self simply hold up a mirror to the parent. Have the parent see and know it was themselves they disliked and wanted to harm.

D. As you are visualizing feel yourself heal. Feel Green and gold loving light return to you.

E. Feel the piece of your childhood-self return to you. Welcome back home. Embrace yourself.

F. Sit in this space until you are ready to open circle.

* If you are having difficulty creating your better ending or visualizing, there is nothing wrong. You may want to try again. You may want to consult with a Shaman trained in Soul Retrieval  One place to consider for further guidance is The Foundation For Shamanic Studies

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9 thoughts on “Erasing Parental Mistake Ritual

  1. Thanks for sharing! I’ll keep this in mind for when I’ll have kids of my own. I’ve also seen my auntie do something similar with her children, and I greatly admired her for being so honest with them.

    Could you also do the same ritual with grown-ups? I’m thinking that without the re-enactment part (perhaps; I guess it depends on the parties involved), it might also help in partnerships and friendships.

  2. That’s awesome. I already do this with my kids when I know I overreacted. I just never thought to put in ritual terms. I will definitely start doing so!

  3. I love this ritual. Such a wonderful sacred act! I am curious: was this inspired by Positive Discipline techniques in any way (in PD groups, they talk about revisiting situations in which people were using punitive techniques which attempt to make the child “pay” for their mistakes)? I was subject to corporeal punishment and emotional neglect as a child, and I’ve been looking for ways to approach moments when I encounter my own parenting mistakes as passed on from my childhood experiences. I now have such a tool. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    • Thank you all for such nice comments. Everyone is so kind! Dear Faye, at my daughter’s school they do teach positive disciple, Or at least attempt too. And they very well may teach something similar. But this technique was derived from my personal experiences with soul retrieval and my desire to repair as much damage as I can the moment I realize it. I am glad you find this ritual useful! It sounds like you are doing your best as a parent, which is all that we can do. Good luck and Blessings!

  4. Thanks for sharing this idea…. I have 5 children and all but one are grown… I wish I had thought of the “do-over” ritual you describe…I’m sure it works out much better than the guilty apology I gave the older kids.. I will use it with my youngest when ever I can…

  5. What a great blog and wonderful stories to inspire pagan parents. This technique is so necessary to bring healing to all relationship “mistakes”. Thanks for inspiring me as a parent on the path…I am following via email 🙂

    Carrie

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